Kevin Smith Pt 1

Kevin Smith is a director, writer, actor, comedian, public speaker, comic book writer, author, pod caster and part owner of a comic book store!
I'm a big fan of Kevin Smiths work, on the whole it's mostly great, been a couple of blips though, nobodies perfect!
There is a lot of his stuff on Prime, a series about his comic book store, the stand up he had a heart attack after and the shows he did in the UK with his long time partner in crime and best mate Jason Mewes.

Clerks (1984) was Smiths first movie, made on a budget of $27, 575 at his local convenience store, it's basically a (bad) day in the life of a convenience store clerk who is made to work on his day off.
In Clerks we are introduced to a variety of colourful characters, and of course Jay and Silent Bob (Mewes and Smith).
I love this movie, it goes to show what a talented chap can do with a limited budget but great imagination.

Mallrats (1995) was his second movie and this time he had a budget of $6.1 million, oh the difference a year makes!
This time we're in a mall with 2 friends who have just been dumped by their girlfriends, they are trying to work out how they can get them back, it's ok though, Jay and Silent Bob are there to help out!
Unlike Clerks this movie has an all star alternative brat pack cast including Ben Affleck, Shannen Doherty, Jason Lee, Jeremy London and Claire Forlani, it's also got Michael Rooker and even a cameo from Stan Lee (Smiths hero).
I watched this again last week and I'd forgotten just how funny it was, absolutely loved it, proper belly laughs!

Chasing Amy (1997) takes Smith down the romantic comedy route, 2 comic book writers 20 year friendship is tested when one of them falls for a beautiful lesbian!
It stars the usual suspects Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Brian O'halloran and also adding Matt Damon as well, and let's not forget Jay and Silent Bob!
This is widely regarded as one of Smiths finest films and was nominated for 11 awards, winning 5, it's shows Smiths range and is a real rollercoaster of emotions.

Dogma (1999) in this Smith tackles religion, always good for a laugh!
Two fallen angels (Affleck and Damon) try to exploit a loophole so they can get back into heaven, trouble is by doing so they would undo creation!
You'll probably recognise most of the cast, Kevin Smith knows who he likes working with, and they work well together, don't worry, Jay and Silent Bob are in it!
This is probably my favourite Kevin Smith movie, it is a blast, nearly flawless in my eyes, 2 hours of pure entertainment!

Buddy Christ gives it his seal of approval!

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) yep, they finally get their own movie, and about time too!

Jay and Silent Bob aren't happy, the comic book 'Bluntman and Chronic', which is based on them, is being turned into Hollywood movie and they're not getting anything out of it so it's off to Hollywood to sabotage the film!

This film brings together a lot of the characters from Smiths previous movies, another very recognisable cast, with a few added extras, it's a case of 'Spot the Cameo' including Carrie Fisher as a nun and Mark Hamill as Cocknocker (don't ask him why he's called Cocknocker)!

It's just a blast, a puerile childish blast, if you're looking for highbrow humour then this isn't for you, if you find someone getting hit in the balls hilarious then grab the popcorn and be prepared to be entertained!!! 

Porn Parodies NSFW

We all love a good parody and a great pun, the porn industry seem to be able to do both really well!

I have to add that I haven't seen any of these, honest 😉

Moulin Rouge

Probably the film I have seen more than any other would be Moulin Rouge, I must admit that the majority of those viewings were in the early hours of the morning after a night out, sometimes locally, sometimes further afield!

Moulin Rouge was the 2nd film from Baz Luhurmann, following the wonderfully Australian Strictly Ballroom.

The story revolves round Christian (Ewan McGregor), a penniless writer and Satine (Nicole Kidman), a beautiful courtesan, and takes place in the world famous Moulin Rouge in Paris, close to Montmartre.

Christian travels to Paris to live the Bohemian dream, he believes there he will find the inspiration to write his masterwork, he never thought he'd lose his heart.

The Moulin Rouge is a hedonistic delight, where dreams come true, for the right price!

Baz Luhrmann uses a very vibrant palette and re imagined popular songs to help tell his story to great effect, it's an audio visual treat!

There is only one original song in the film, and that is Christian and Satine's song, and it is used heartrendingly effectively.

The supporting cast are fantastic as well with the like of John Leguizamo as Toulouse -Lautrec, Jim Broadbent as the wonderful Harold Zidler, Richard Roxburgh as the outrageously sleazy Duke and of course the gorgeous Kylie Minogue as the Green Fairy!

If you've never seen this movie, shame on you, I suggest you grab the Absinthe, turn the lights off, turn the volume up and brace yourself for the rollercoaster ride that is Moulin Rouge! 

Video Nasties: The Seduction of the Gullible Pt 4.7

Visiting Hours (1982) cut upon cinema release, subsequent video releases were uncut but reedited.
A misogynistic serial killer gets a bit peeved when a feminist activist puts him down on a talk show so he decides to attack her, but she survives. She's taken to hospital, our serial  killer knows he needs to finish her off and make her suffer.
The cuts were to scenes of torture to women.
This is a very good movie, Michael Ironside, who plays the serial killer, is at his best in this movie, he plays a great demented, woman hating serial killer! It also has William Shatner in it, do you need any other reasons to watch this!

The Witch Who Came from the Sea (1976) no cinema release, released uncut to video 2006.
A woman who was abuse as a child tries to cope with it through TV and alcohol but as she falls further down the rabbit hole she ends up going on a murder spree!
You can tell this was made in the 70's, it looks dated, it's quite a confused film and if it wasn't for the scene with the razor blades and the football player then I doubt it would have made it on the nasties list. I watched it out of curiosity and will never watch it again, it's mostly boring.

Zombie Creeping Flesh (1980) cinema release in 1982 was uncut, as was the 2006 video release.
A female reporter and 4 commandos team up in the jungles of New Guinea (it's always New Guinea!) it investigate the story of flesh eating zombies!
Love this movie, one of the better ones around, and one of the few that actually shows how it first all started. Special effects are a bit dated but we can forgive that, the story and score are great, good bit of tension and smatterings of humour as well!

So that completes the 72 films that were prosecuted by the DPP (39 successfully, 33 not) under the Obscene Publication Act, which then led to the Video Recordings Act 1984.
As well as these 72 there were another 82 films that were classed as video nasties, a lot of those were never resubmitted for classification so aren't readily available in the UK, but I'll go through them and see what I can find, most of them are available one way or another.

Video Nasties: The Seduction of the Gullible Pt 4.6

The Slayer (1982) no cinema release, 14s of cuts for the 1992 video release, uncut for the 2001 release.
2 couples become isolated on a rugged island whilst on holiday, one of them is having nightmare of of supernatural killings, will her dreams come true!?
The cuts were to the pitchfork killing mainly.
It's got a bit of a 'made for TV' vibe about it, it is a well made film though,cliched at times but that's not always bad. I'm actually watching this at the moment, it had somehow slipped me by, nearly an hour in and it's quite boring, the characters are really annoying, and very, very stupid! Some of the effects are good, very good in fact, but the set ups are obvious and to tell the truth I just wanted the film to be over, still 15m to go and you know the climax has something to do with the flare gun! Also why do they insist on making coffee (instant) in a teapot, heathens! It wasn't worth waiting for the end, trust me!

Terror Eyes (1981) both the cinema and 1987 video releases were heavily cut.
Is there a headhunter on the loose at the local night school, young girls are losing their heads, will the baffled police lose theirs???
The cuts were to reduce the gore content and the shots of slasher in a couple of scenes.
It's a good slasher, well made and atmospheric, builds tension quite well. It's got the feel of an Italian Giallo movie, the camera work, the music and the kills, worth a watch if you can. Corny title, known as Night School everywhere else.

The Toolbox Murders (1978) the cinema release was cut, as was the 2000 video release, was rereleased in 2017 reedited and uncut.
The tenants of an apartment complex are being knocked off by a ski mask wearing maniac who adds a whole new meaning to DIY!
The cuts were to most of the murder scenes and especially the one involving a naked woman and a nail gun!
This is a Marmite movie, you'll even love it or hate it, it has a story...ish, and if you cut out all the gore you'd have a good 'made for TV' film. It's available on Prime, I enjoyed it, it's worth it for the nail gun killing alone!

Unhinged (1982) released without cuts on it's initial cinema run, and the 2004 video release was also uncut.
3 girls crash their car in a rainstorm (women drivers!) and seek help from a nearby house set in a large estate, the family are a bit weird, to say the least!
It's been a while since I'd seen this, had to refresh my memory. Though not a bad film it's not memorable either, obviously, just standard 80's slasher stuff really, with a strange ending!

Video Nasties: The Seduction of the Gullible Pt 4.5

Possession (1981) released uncut for cinema distribution 1981 and then also uncut for video in 1999 but it does appear to have been reedited as it's 9m shorter.
A man (who happens to be a spy) becomes suspicious when his wife starts acting erratically and then asks for a divorce, he suspects infidelity, but it's actually something much stranger and sinister!
This is a strange and wonderful art house horror movie, a feast for the senses and extremely weird, another film that should never have been added to the nasty list.

Pranks (1982) was released on video in 1992 with 10s of cuts, in 2001 it was released uncut.
4 college students stay on campus over the xmas holidays to help  clear out a dorm that is going to be demolished, they are stalked by a crazed killer!
The 10s of cuts were to the drill killing scene.
It's a bit cliched but it's above average for a college students alone over the holidays film, you're not going to see anything new but you'll be quite entertained if you like the stalk & slash genre. It's also known as The Dorm that Dripped Blood, which I think is a far better title!

Prisoner of the Cannibal God (1978) the cinema release was released with cuts, as were all subsequent video releases.
A woman and her brother travel to the jungle to find her husband who was part of a lost expedition in New Guinea.
The cuts were to the totally unnecessary animal cruelty, and rightly so!
This has got the most professional feel about it of all the Italian cannibal movies of the time, it has the like of Ursula Andress and Stacy Keach as the lead American actors, and a bunch of worthy Italian actors, the direction's good, the cinematography it great but to me it's just a bit too polished, but I do like it grimier! As with most of these films the addition of the animal cruelty just isn't needed, it adds nothing at all and detracts from the story and pacing, but the Italians seem to love it, weirdos! Yes it is known by 3 different titles, Prisoner, Slave and Mountain!

Revenge of the Bogey Man (1983) never received a cinema release, was banned and not rereleased until 2003, this cut is a reedit and uncut.
Picks up from the original The Boogeyman (see previous blog, 4.1), the lone survivor travel to Hollywood to see a director and show him the shard to prove her story, what could go wrong!
It's basically 90% of the original recut with some extra bits, if you have to just watch the original!

Video Nasties: The Seduction of the Gullible Pt 4.4

Inferno (1980) cinema release had cuts, as did the '87 & '93 video releases, finally released uncut in 2010.
In this supernatural tale from Dario Argento the plot revolves around a pair of siblings and 3 witches, all set in modern day Rome and New York, I don't want to give the plot away, also it might take more than a few paragraphs!
Like all giallo films there's lots of stylised violence, normally directed at women, there's also a couple of minor animal cruelty scenes involving a cat and a mouse that were cut.
Like all Arento movies this is gorgeous, the look, the sound (Keith Emerson did the score) and the overall style, the plot is also slightly confusing, and a bit way out there, again like most Argento movies. Just make up your own mind, best way to enjoy it is to just go with the flow!

Killer Nun (1979) no cinema release but the video release in 1993 was cut by 13s, the 2006 release was uncut.
A morphine addicted nun who's also the head nurse at a general hospital battles addiction and growing madness.
The 13s cuts were to the stabbing scene involving the old woman.
Who doesn't like a bit of nunsploitation, this is a little bit more than the standard stuff though, there's Sister Gertrude's decent into madness, that doesn't make it good, just different, also violent and gory.

Last Stop on the Night Train (1975) refused a cert for cinema release, resubmitted in 2008 and passed uncut.
2 young girls get caught up with a couple a sadistic crooks and a loony nympho on a train (only the Italians!).
It's a nasty little film, shades of Last House on the Left, but not as well put together, some scenes are cringe worthy, because of the acting and the sexualised violence. I would never watch it again, and wouldn't be too sad if I hadn't seen it in the first place!

The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue (1974) cinema release was cut, the '85 video release was also cut, the 2002 video was uncut.
A couple of hippy types are being pursued by a cop who thinks they are responsible for a number of cult type murders, but it's really gut munchers animated by a pesticide being used by local farmers!
there were a couple in mins cut, mostly down to some of the more graphic kills and aftermath.
This classic zombie movie is a groovy film, a great film, overall well done and well worth a watch, video is above, what you waiting for?!

Nightmare Maker (1981) never received a cert for either cinema or video release.
Crazed aunt will do anything in her power to keep hold of her orphaned nephew, anything!
A good little thriller/horror story, has a Psycho feel about it, the crazy aunt is fantastic, in fact the whole cast is good. It's worth checking out the opening scenes where the lads parent get killed, quite spectacular and well done.

Video Nasties: The Seduction of the Gullible Pt 4.3

Don't Look in the Basement (1973) cinema release was cut and given an X cert, released eventually on video in 2005 uncut with a 15 cert!
A young psychiatric nurse goes to work at an asylum after there's a murder there, she senses something's wrong, she's right!
The cut to the cinema release was a little bit of handy axe work.
It not a bad film, but it's not great either, has a few good atmospheric scenes and does build tension well, and there is a twist, which is nice.

The Evil Dead (1981) released with cuts for the cinema, the 1990 video release was heavily cut (some by the distributors, some by the BBFC) the 2001 release was uncut.
5 friends go to a cabin in the woods to party, they come across a book, The Necronomicon, The Book of the Dead, they think it'll be fun to read it, it wasn't for them, it is for us!

Sorry but had to add my Tom Sullivan sketch of The Necronomicon, it's also signed by Bruce Campbell, as Ash!

The biggest controversy was the tree rape scene, there is also a lot of gore, but it's almost cartoonish.

This is a true classic, received rave reviews when it was released and gained a cult following virtually straight away, it's a fun, gory, slapstick rollercoaster of a film, starring the brilliant Bruce Campbell, if you haven't seen it then you need to, if you have seen it then I bet it's been a while, watch it again, soon, if not now!

Frozen Scream (1975) never achieved a UK release of any sort.

Mad scientists turn people into frozen zombies that go and wreak havoc and kill people.

I have to admit that I have never watched this movie because every review that I have ever seen gives it 2 stars or less, stating that it one of the most boring films they have seen, but you can be the judge of that, full film above!

The Funhouse (1981) it's cinema release was uncut and so was it's video release in 1987, in 2007 it was reclassified as a 15 cert.

4 teenagers dare each other to spend the night in a carnival funhouse, crazy kids!, they end up being stalked by someone in a Frankenstein's monster mask.

There seems to have been some confusion on this one, it is believe that there was a mix up, The Last House on Dead End Street AKA The Fun House (1973) was a brutal and gruesome film involving graphic torture and dismemberment (classic nasty), whereas The Funhouse directed by Tobe Hooper (it might have been his name associated with it that caused the confusion) is a quite tepid slasher movie in comparison. The Last House on Dead End Street never appeared on any of the nasty lists, and it is comparable with a lot on there already, if not worse in places!

The Last House on Dead End Street trailer

The Funhouse is a good little movie, well made and atmospheric, and should never have been added to the nasties list.

Human Experiments (1979) passed with an X cert for cinema uncut, got caught up in the nasty debacle and was never resubmitted.

A young country singer travelling from gig to gig alone through a series of unfortunate events ends up in prison charged with murder, the prison has interesting ideas on reforming prisoners.

What you think is going to be a standard women in prison exploitation film takes an interesting turn which raises this movie above the rest. Not sure why this was on the nasty list, apart from perhaps the WIP exploitation aspect, but that's pretty tame, it does look a bit dated but not a bad watch.

I Miss You, Hugs and Kisses (1978) there's some confusion about this movie in it's cut/uncut versions, BBFC website has nothing on it.

Millionaire accused of murdering his wife, but is he guilty, do we care!?

Boring, disjointed and should never have been added to the nasty list, though it did mean that it was never resubmitted for classification, so it did us a favour!